In a reply to a post I made I received a request for more ideas on how to get a woman to be open to her husbands fantasies. I found in rather ironic that the sender and I are in many ways trying to accomplish the same thing. You see I am not new to swinging but my fiance is and while she is aware of my past she as yet has not opted for us to reenter the lifestyle. I desire to swing again and still keep in loose contact with some of the people I was involved with so I have to ask myself the same question I was asked to help with, how do I get my partner to enter the swinging lifestyle?
The first thing that has to be acknowledged is that you can’t make her want to, if you truly love her you wouldn’t want to anyway. Let’s face it sex is a lot more fun with a partner who sees it as a joy rather than an obligation. It has to be viewed as a chance for both of you to explore and enjoy a greater diversity in your sex life not just a chance for you to go out and score some new tail. Guys I’m gonna be blunt here but swinging is about her not you, if you and your partner do enter the lifestyle you may have the privilege of having sex with another man’s most dear treasure and you had better see it that way because that is how your’s should be treated as well. You are asking her to separate love and sex emotional connection and for some women this is tough, for others impossible. For men it is fairly easy to make the separation, the culture many of us grew up in makes it easy but for women society isn’t so forgiving. Think about it, a man that has sex with many women is a stud but a woman that has sex with many men is a tramp, so much for sexual equality. It’s one of the things that led to my own divorce, there were others but her inability and my lack of understanding to separate love/sex built too much strain on our marriage. While it’s hard, before you can go very far with your exploration of swinging you first need to have a very, very firm foundation of trust and communication. If you can’t talk openly with your spouse about your interest in swinging then you have a lot of work to do before you can hope to have a happy relationship in swinging.
All of this isn’t to say that you shouldn’t pursue swinging with your partner but just a warning that unless the foundation is there swinging can be a quick road to relationship disaster.
If your still with me so far then you and your partner might be to start talking about swinging. The best advise I can give at this point is talk to her about you fantasies and LISTEN to hers. This is best done with no cloths on as part of foreplay, first both of your inhibitions will be lower and second it will probably get you both hotter than you have been in a long time and she won’t forget it. Don’t talk about swinging at this point just fantasies, many women really deep down would love to have sex with two or more men at the same time or sex with different types of men but fear being seen as a tramp for it, this can be a great place to open her mind a little. Remember it’s all about her, in the long run you’ll get yours if you remember to keep her first. When has gotten a little more comfortable with the idea of being ok to desire things that are a little more out of the sexual “norm” then you can introduce the idea of there being a community where that kind of thinking is not only common but encouraged. Hope it helps, I’ll keep everyone updated as I see for myself.
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